Dave has tried contacting me twice in the past week. I completely ignored him last time he tried to talk to me. I didn't even give him the contentment of my response. I just refused to say anything. So we went without talking for over a month and a half, and I thought this thing was finally done.
Apparently it's not.
He texted me Sunday asking how my break was going. Then he facebooked me later that night wishing me a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. He ended it with, "I miss you."
I think it bugs him that he came so close to having sex with me and never did. On top of that, he hasn't gripped the idea that I'm not as dumb as he thinks, and that I do know that he:
1. Cheated on me,
2. Has a girlfriend,
3. Admitted that he's trying to play me while he has a girlfriend.
I refuse to be the "other girl." I also refuse to be used AGAIN, and give my virginity to a complete asshole who is probably one of the last people on Earth that deserves it.
I also have a few other theories. It bugs him that I'm strong enough to ignore him, and that someone actually doesn't want him, especially someone that had something with him before. And because of that, I'm like a challenge for him. His goal is simply to fuck me just so he can say he did, and even brag that he got my virginity out of it as well.
Going off topic slightly for a second...
It's funny that so many men want to screw a virgin because they're the tightest or whatever. But you know why most virgins are so tight? Not because they've never had sex before, but because they're probably nervous. Having sex doesn't stretch the muscle. Relaxation and being comfortable is what makes women less tight, or whatever. So in reality, men want to fuck a virgin because she's nervous and probably not ready and comfortable. How fucked up is that?
[ End off topic rant.]
Anyway, like I said, it bugs Dave that I don't want him, and that even though he can have sex with a bunch of other girls that he's not with, all he wants to do is fuck me to say he did, so I can be another notch on his bedpost.
I know some people would question my theories, and I don't blame them because they are a bit harsh, but honestly, his actions are enough for me to come to my conclusions. He never cared about me because he lied to me, he cheated on me, and he's trying to play me. If you care for someone, you wouldn't do that to them, and you ESPECIALLY wouldn't try to play them just like he's trying to do. Also, another piece that points to proving my theories is the fact that he goes through so many girls so quickly. I'm sure he doesn't screw them because he cares about them and likes them.
On top of that, I heard people used to call him gay when he was in high school because he was involved in theater. My friend Ben has a similar theory to why he's such a player. It's as if he needs proof to show that he's not gay, so in order to do that, he fucks as many women as humanly possible.
I wouldn't be surprised if he had an STD by now.
Anyway, like I said, part of me wants this thing to be over, but another part of me is rather amused by it. I actually do find it hilarious that he keeps trying while I know he has a girlfriend. It keeps my life interesting. On top of that, even though I keep ignoring him because that's probably one of the most torturing things you could do to someone, I have a slight urge to talk to him, just so I can throw everything in his face. But there's another problem with that. My friend Ben is the source of information surrounding Dave, partly because he literally lives two doors away from him so he knows what's going on. When Dave found out that Ben was telling me stuff, Dave confronted him about it and also admitted then that he was trying to "be a player." But Ben doesn't want me to say a word to Dave about everything, although I don't see why it matters because if I were Ben, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like Dave, but oh well.
There's always the possibility that Ben could be lying to me, but everything just seems to add up so nicely.
Why do we feel the need to prove things to other people so often? It makes us feel good, I think, because we're showing our intelligence, and, in a way, putting the other person down. I want to do that to Dave because he deserves it. I gave him so much of my energy and devoted a lot of time to him, always trying to keep him happy and forgiving him for stupid things he would argue with me about. In return, he fucks another chick behind my back and tries to play me. I confided in him a very important piece about my life, and I hate that he knows that. He doesn't deserve that information, and he doesn't deserve to know anything about me. It's men like him that make me hate the general male species. It's also people like him that prove that no matter what your age is, it's not the years that make the maturity, but your actions. I know that and have known that, but I was just being hopeful that maybe, just maybe, because this guy was a good amount of years older than I am, and that he is the oldest guy I've ever dated, that maybe, possibly, he would be mature enough for me. I was proven wrong, yet again. Greg has been the winner in that category, and even his still has some growing up to do.
Not saying that I'm extremely mature, but I sure as hell am when it comes to my general age group. I've been told this by many people, including those much, much older than I am. I think the only people that don't see this are my parents. They don't know that I am thinking long term when it comes to EVERYTHING. I do. I think about that more than they know or could possibly imagine. I'm scared for the future more than most things I fear, but they have no idea.
So, to summarize everything... Dave is an asshole and needs to find a heart, I want to talk to him but I shouldn't because I know it's torture that I'm not responding at all, and Dave is an asshole and needs to find a heart.
Haha.
On a slightly lighter note but not really... At least I got a song out of all this drama.
Doesn't it suck that I can only write songs when I'm recovering from pain inflicted by a guy?
Maybe I'll post the lyrics in the next entry. I just have to type them up.
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